Libby and I were really excited to see Stephanie on Wednesday for the 19 week ultrasound. I was anxious to get confirmation all is ok and the baby is measuring normally. I was also really excited to see Stephanie and our baby. Since she first reported feeling movements I have been so impatient to see her and hopefully some action on the screen if not feel it directly myself. Unfortunately, Stephanie came down with flu-like symptoms Tuesday night, and with no improvement on Wednesday morning and after consulting with the midwife, she rescheduled for next Monday.
Getting this news put me in such a bad mood. I realized how much I needed to see and hopefully feel our baby. It is difficult to rely on words and still photos alone. After our losses the last two years I worry about every exam or checkup, hoping for the best but prepared for something else. The distance between us and Stephanie has made this uncertainty harder to bear. Each week we eagerly await Wednesday’s photo from Stephanie and reading the summary of the week’s growth in our What to Expect app. But now I need more.
After our conversation with Stephanie I went for a run to clear my head. I could tell how stubborn I was acting and I knew I was taking it out on all three of us. I’m certain it was the loudest sulking and pouting I have ever displayed. But after a good run and some FaceTime with Stephanie, I cheered up and put my mind on her feeling better quickly. On Wednesday morning we made the decision to reschedule the ultrasound. Fortunately they were able to book us a Monday appointment – not only sooner than we expected but also on a holiday weekend when we would have more time to travel and visit with Stephanie. Libby and I made the most of the day we had planned for visiting Stephanie: we continued preparing the nursery, removing most of our belongings and finding a new spot elsewhere in the apartment. It is really looking like a baby’s room now, with an assembled crib, stroller, toys and clothes on loan from family.